"Drive-by!"- Erica, as she throws crust and breadsticks at some unsuspecting strangers in Cosenzas.
"Oh, Hey Chad!... I mean.. whatever."- Mrs. Wagoner mistaking Brophy for Chad.
"What if when you dove, your nipple came off?"
"I'd probably put it on my eye."- Eric and me talking about volleyball at XC Camp.
"Oh really, What teachers did you have?"- Eric asking an 80 or 90 year old former principal about his time at Dorman 10 years
ago.
Sykes after choking for about 3 minutes. "You see here's what happened. I swallowed and it went down the wrong pipe, but
I was about to laugh so I couldn't cough, because I didn't want to spray everywhere so I just kept swallowing."
"Want some dick?"- My completely random "insult" at the pep rally.
"Wish I had some dick."- Schweiss
"At least I don't like pussy."- Dan
"I don't understand! You people have the greasiest fingers... It's like it gets etched into the windows."- Sykes on us drawing
on his car.
"Somemtimes life hands you a big, floppy dick in the form of a haircut on your head."- Me on my terrible, terrible hair cut.
"Is that the mile? Damn, shit... dammit."- BJ splitting his watch for the mile about 100m down the road from Dan's house.
Maybe that's only funny to runners, or maybe just me.
"Oh man, who did that? You're not supposed to fart at the table."
Wood, quietly, "It wasn't supposed to happen that way."
*Whap* "What was that?"
"I don't know, it sounded like a PFS."- Sykes.
Waitress- "Would you like Ceaser, Vinaigrette, or Medley Salad?"
"I'll have Ceaser vinaigrette."- Jacob Wood.
"Man! Kevin would have the ultimate party house if he got a pool, a fire pit, and a tetherball pole."- Dan on what constitutes
a party house.
".... burly eskimo vagina."- Padawan finishing someone's sentence. Burly.. what a great word.
"Yar matey."
"Squawk, squawk, squawk!!"- Ben Sloan. One of those things where you had to be there.
"Ah WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO."- Freys drive's helicopter-tail dog.
"Only thing you got is shit on a popsicle stick poking out of your vagina so it looks like you got a penis."- Padawan
"AHHH, I don't understand. I just want to go on a rampage and kill everything."- Sykes
"Listen Sykes, it's easy. All it means is you can't have two slopes at once because that means your traveling at two different
speeds at the same time."- Sloan
"Ah, now I understand. It'd still be fun to go on a rampage though."- Sykes
"Oh no, then someone would have to do the Heimlich mover!"- Silvia when Meredith starts choking.
"What if I were to go blind in both ears?"- Me. I don't even know what we were talking about but I do know you can't go blind
in your ears.
"Daisy... Do you have a bubble on your vagina?"- Me standing about two feet from Mr. Jank.
"What if a girls mouth was where her vagina was?"- Crazy guy from Asian-American Club.
I start dying laughing.
"Hehe, I saw it in this movie once, it was an anime...."- Crazy Guy
"Alright, I've got it."- Me
"How do the.... squirrels help..the deer?"- Coach Curry talking about relationships in nature.
"Do the squirrels give the deer nuts?"- Student
"What date did you fly into Germany? What date does your ticket say?"- Woman, in a very heavy British/German accent, at the
flight counter in Germany.
"I'm sorry, I don't speak German."- Me
"She's speaking English."- Friendly Canadian woman standing beside me.
"What's wrong with your chin?"- My Dad on the gotee.
"Nothing's wrong with it."- Me. Later I thought of a really good come back and decided to share this with EO and Sloan at
the Calculus Jam session.
"I'm sorry Dad, I spilled some man juice on my face."
"Yeah, I weigh about 180."- Kevin
15 minutes later after we've changed topics interjects Silvia
"That's almost 200 pounds!"
We run into Josh Riley up in Gatlinburg, and he walks with us all the way to our hotel (his hotel being in the opposite direction).
"Uh, thanks for walking us back Riley..."- Kevin
"No, you guys don't understand. No one in my group is my age. All you guys do is make fun of me, but deciding between boredom
and being made fun of, I'll take being made fun of."- Riley
"I don't see how you can preach without having sex."- Dan
"Have ever heard 'Meat Lover'?"- Greg Talking about Waffle House songs with one of the waiters. "What about 'There's a Raisin
in my Bun?"
"Ha, man, quit fuckin' with me."- Waiter.
"Nuh uh, your name's not Arrowsmith!"- Drunk guy at Dave Concert.
"Well, my first names Ryan but my last is Arrowsmith."- Ryan
"Dude, This guy's name is Arrowsmith that's awesome. My name's Brian Jones.... that sucks."- Drunk guy dejected that his
name is only Brian Jones.
"Dangomandiggityoto"- Padawan
"Welcome to Switchback City. Population: Death."- Syke's commenting on Old Man Firetower.
"Man, our A team's so good. I'll bet you anything that our A team beats you."- Scrub from Seminole's Ultimate C-Team.
"Would you bet your mom?"- Coach Buys.
"Hey Stefan, you did a pretty crappy job rolling my house"- Todd, my brother's friend.
Stefan getting hardcore, "Oh yeah! Man you want me to do it again?"
"Calm down. Don't saturate a tampon over it."- Todd.
While out on a night run some prep fag walking in a group says *cough* "gay" trying to be hardcore in front of his girl.
"I ran 24.8 miles! GET OFF MY BALLS."- Me yelling at the top of my lungs.
"Yeah, if I saw a woman named Sable I'd marry her"- Me
Dan, "All you'd have to do is walk into any strip club. She'll have silver hair and look like a wolf."
Dan freestyling, "Yo, I woke up this morning and all I saw was corn..."
Kevin and I are talking to this awesome asian guy Nelson, "My girlfriend told me not to get drunk.... Man, F**** HER, she
go to different college."
A couple seconds later he busts out yelling "MIKE JONES"
Dave Grohl, lead singer and frontman of Foo Fighters, saying how he has to read how the crowd responds to songs and how he's
going to play a sweet song, "I've got to listen to what you guys want. We have to do this together. Guys, if you really
want to make a woman scream, listen to what she fucking wants. It's like this arena is a giant pussy and I'm going blbbublblblblblb."
"This is the first show Atlanta. This is going to be an awesome tour... we're with fucking Weezer. I have to tell you guys
something, I've been backstage for the past hour and thirteen minutes trying to get rid of a massive erection." Dave Grohl
pumped about the upcoming tour.
"Thomas and Kevin, push up battle. 24......48."- The song Bakutes makes up for the push
up battle.
"When I wake up there better be snow on the ground."- Kevin
"Dude, It's October. There won't be snow on the ground. Why do you want it to snow?"- Bakutes
"Because I'm Swiss and I love the snow."- Kevin
"Oh yeah, well I'm Korean and I love Pandas. So when I wake up there better be Pandas on the ground."- Me
Me talking about the weather, "It just doesn't look like its going to sleet."
"It looks like its going to shit."- John from 2B2
"Oh man, I've been waiting for this for the rest of my life."- BJ
"You mean like when a dog tucks its tail."- Lauren after Wagoner explains "the Tuck."
Eric complains that he does a lot of the work around the house while Greg does nothing.
"You've got a vagina and it drips
all over the place."- Greg
"At least I clean up after myself."- Eric
"Cigarettes are bad for you Fatty," Dan lecturing
Andy on smoking.
"Hey Dan, you know your mom took up smoking last night...... in my DICK."- a fairly drunk Wallace.
"Lief, what is up. Meredith, this is Lief."- Me
"F*** you man."- Lief
"Haha, do it."- Bakutes
(laughing)"Alright, alright...I'm Willy Wonka, I'm eeeverywhere"- Me (inebriated).
"Man, as much as I'd like to raw dog, I think, that's just not kosher."- Wagoner
"Damn... How did I get chocolate all over me?", Wagoner
(Dan licks his arm).
"Oh, nevermind that's just a mole."
"Man you ask a kid in kindgergarten if he can do anything and he'll say yeah. 'Can you dance?'..'Yeah I can dance' (does
a kid's dance). But if you ask a college kid the same thing he'll be like 'Uhh, no that's next semester after I take my performing
arts class with Professor Hoovenstopher.' It's so true."- Ben Robinson
"Dan, you know you lose 5 soul points every time you play that game."- Me talking about GTA3.
"I know, it's terrible. I don't know if I want to play and lose soul points."- Lauren
"Mom, we're going to Blockbuster to get a movie. Want anything?"- Matthew
"No, don't get any shoot-bang movies"
....Later "What'd you guys get?"- Mom
"History of Violence and Kill Bill Vol. 2"
"Ooohh look. A paradox."- Dan banging two hammers together.
Romo and Karl are bickering.
"I'm sensing a lot of sexual tension between you two."- Me
"You should go release it on each other's anuses way the f*** over there somewhere."- Dan
Greg talking about snowboarding, "So, you've got both your turns down?"
"Oh, I do whatever the fuck I want."- Dom
